Guy 1: "Is there any sport that girls are consistently better than guys at?"
Guy 2: "Childbirth"

Girl 1: I just had to dump him.
Girl 2: But why?
Girl 1: Because he played ice hockey but he would always be hot and sweaty. I never understood that. He always got hot and sweaty but he played on the ice. Shouldn't he be cold?

Outside Finlay Commons
Guy 1: Yeah, so I had a nice night.
Guy 2: Yeah me too. Thanks for playing with my penis, too.

On Pugh outside Mad Mex, Monday
Dude: Dude if you ever pick up two hot chicks I will definitely take the lesser of the two.

Saturday at McDonalds... roughly 3am

Guy: "She was grabbing my nuts so hard I almost screamed...
Girl: "What do you mean?"
Guy: "She was like I want these in my mouth right now!"

In reference to planned trip to Japan:"They're gonna be speaking Hindi to each other as the plane goes down, and I'll be like AHHHHH!!!!"

Girl One: Rainbow?! I would kill myself if my name was Rainbow!
Girl Two: I would kill myself if my name was Unique! That's like naming your kid Special!
Girl One:"It's not the name. It's the kid. Like I could name her Trash Can and I'd still love 'er."

Girl: "I asked him if he would change his name, and he was like, what, like [Girl’s last name-Boy’s last name]? And I was like, no, what about something like McNeill?"

Girl in a pseudo-French accent: "I care, I just take my care and turn it into ... pah! I spit at you!"

Girl @ her 21st Birthday: "I had seven. SEVEN. SEVVVVEEEENNN."
"My phone--FELL. On the floor. And it shattered. Into a MILLION PIECES! Or just three."
"Then Yori, this MAN, he's in the band! He SAVED ME"
"They took away my straw"

Guy 1: when i was in 5th grade i got an hj by an 8th grader
Girl 1: don't you think thats a little weird?
Guy 1: no... well, kind of

Two guys walking back up Shortlidge coming from downtown:

Guy: "Dude, if you have herpes you gotta tell her."

Girl One: Why are you guys inside? It's so nice out...you guys are...what's the word?
Girl Two: Bums?
Girl One: No. Like...widows?
Girl Two: ...widows?
Girl One: No, like...
Girl Two: Hermits?
Girl One: No, like-- what was Emily Dickinson?
Girl Two: A recluse?
Girl One: Yes! No, I was like, widow, because ... spiders ... and recluse!

Girl: Hey, ____.
Guy: Hi.
Girl: What are you doing?
Guy: Watching a movie..?
Girl: Well we are playing pong. You should come over.
Guy: No thanks. I don't drink.
Girl: That's alright! You should just come over to socialize.
Guy: No thanks. I don't socialize.
Girl: Um... (just walks away)
Guy: Thanks though!

Girl One : So, have you made your decision yet?
Girl Two: [very frank tone] Well, I've decided not to drink during the week.