"Dude, your bed smells like weed. Oh, and I took of your Viagra."
"I don't have any Viagra."
"Well, I took whatever was on your dresser."
"...that's my allergy medication."
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A girl reading next to her friend on the lawn:
What part was I at? Ah oh well. I'll just skip to the end where they have sex.
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overheard walking up beaver (halloween)

guy on phone: "Dude, I'm covered in fake blood and glitter, best walk of shame ever!"
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Outside of The Forum
Girl is yelling at her friend, "I can't believe you didn't invite me to the fivesome!"
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Guy, reading from book: "Tragedy is to comedy as winter is to...?"
Girl, looking at choices: um... carnival?
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Girl reading from book: "According to FROOD..."
Guy: ...It's Freud.
Girl: Oh yeah.
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Girl on phone: "yeah, she thinks she got roofied, but she can't remember."
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Guy walking out of class: "I need more beer in my life. And by my life I mean my stomach."
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Guy 1: "My friend has an apartment right over a pizza place and there's tons of drunk chicks there every night"
Guy 2: "So it's basically a farm."
Guy 1: "Hey, every good farmer always has something to plow"
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Girl to Guy in the hub: If you ask me to go down on you again, I'll bite your dick off.
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Two girls in one of the dorm's laundry rooms.

Girl: Its so tight
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Two guys walking back up Shortlidge coming from downtown:

Guy: "Dude, if you have herpes you gotta tell her."
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Near Chemistry Building:

Girl (on phone): By the end of the night I was drinking, like half a cup of moonshiiiiiine and just a liiiiitle bit of juice, half a cup of 99 Bananas yeahhh.... yeah she was throwing up all over the place (laughs) I got her naked. I showed her the pictures later and she was like "nooooooo!"
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On Pugh outside Mad Mex, Monday
Dude: Dude if you ever pick up two hot chicks I will definitely take the lesser of the two.
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Outside Finlay Commons
Guy 1: Yeah, so I had a nice night.
Guy 2: Yeah me too. Thanks for playing with my penis, too.
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